


Mutual

by bokuakabeam



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Marriage, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:49:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24085378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bokuakabeam/pseuds/bokuakabeam
Summary: Tsukishima and Hinata’s feelings are mutual
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Hinata Shouyou/Tsukishima Kei
Comments: 26
Kudos: 125





	Mutual

There was the first night that Tsukishima had met Hinata and Kageyama, the freak freshman duo that grated on his every last nerve. He couldn’t help but tantalize the two of them, earning their disdain and hostility with every breath he took and every word he uttered. He called Kageyama ‘King’, and mocked Hinata for being short and incompetent. That earned laughs from Yamaguchi, so he felt a sense of accomplishment, and was set to leave.

But then he saw the shorty’s jump. How could someone with so much going against them in life have so much optimism? Hinata was always so sure of himself, always willing to work harder and better to improve his skills and become one of the greats. He spoke with such confidence about himself and the team, as if a go-getter attitude would be the deciding factor in whether they won or lost at Nationals. Hinata held so much passion for the sport, and Tsukishima almost couldn’t comprehend it. It was just a club, nothing special.

That unrecognized passion made him hate Hinata even more.

The feeling was mutual.

-

There was the second time the Karasuno team had attended the training camp. That was the week where Tsukishima found himself growing exhausted and weary every time he played, arising as he constantly compared himself to the decoy. He knew that he would never amount to the greatness that was Hinata Shouyou, no matter how hard he tried. No matter how much he practiced, or even who he practiced with, Hinata could only improve. Tsukishima felt stagnant; how could he improve skills at something that he wasn’t even sure he wanted to be doing a few years down the road? What was the point?

However, everything that Tsukishima had learned during that training camp came to a head when they faced off against Shiratorizawa. Tsukishima spent the whole game in his head, focusing solely on the movements of the ball and deducing where it would be sent next. He’d even gone so far as to get injured in his efforts to block Ushiwaka’s spikes. As he sat in the nurse’s office getting his fingers bandaged up, and trying to ignore the throbbing pain that shot through his arm, he could only think of Hinata. Hinata had promised to give him more time; he’d said it like it was something that would come easily for them, like it was something that would for sure happen. How can that little shrimp guarantee something that was so likely? How could he say with such confidence that they would maintain their tie with Shiratorizawa, and that Tsukishima would come back and help them win it all?

And amid his disbeliefs, Tsukishima found himself coming to respect the redhead.

The feeling was mutual.

-

There came a time where Tsukishima and Hinata had actually put aside their distances and became closer. Tsukishima wouldn’t call them friends, they were as different as night and day, but they could stand being in the same room together for an extended period of time. And that was something new to Tsukishima; his only friend for the longest time was Yamaguchi, seeing as he understood Tsukishima on a deeper level underneath all his cold insults and aloof responses. However, over the couple years that they’d spent together at Karasuno High School, Hinata slowly began to understand Tsukishima on that deeper level as well.

In his own way.

Where Yamaguchi would push Tsukishima to his limits, forcing him to participate in things he would normally never do, Hinata began to grasp the concept of personal space, leaving Tsukishima alone when he felt that he needed it. This understanding between them gave Tsukishima the relief of responsibility, no longer feeling forced into social situations and interactions if he didn’t feel like it. But, funnily enough, that made him all the more curious to insert himself into those circumstances, just to see the reaction on the shorty’s face.

It wasn’t until Yamaguchi blatantly pointed it out that Tsukishima noticed it for himself: Tsukishima had become more sociable, yes. But only when it involved Hinata. And he didn’t know what to make of that.

The feeling was mutual.

-

The was a time that Tsukishima looks back on as one of the worst moments of his life. It was their graduation day, they were all set to move on from Karasuno High School and pursue whatever life threw at them in the real world. Hinata and Tsukishima had only grown closer during their third year, even going so far as to confess mutual feelings for one another a week prior to their graduation. Nothing had come of it yet, but Tsukishima had prepared himself for a talk once they were free from the reigns of their high school. He wanted them both to attend the same college and maybe even see where a relationship took them. Tsukishima didn’t have it all planned out, but he just knew that Hinata was a light that he didn’t want out of his life.

That all came crashing down, leading into the largest argument of Tsukishima’s life. The worst moment.

Hinata didn’t want to go to college. He wanted to travel, see the world, do things that he’d never been able to do before. He didn’t want to be tied down, but he didn’t want to lose Tsukishima either.

Tsukishima didn’t want to travel and see the world, he wanted to stay in one spot and seek something that would give him a meaning and a purpose. He needed something stable and sure, and he didn’t want to be in a precarious relationship situation where he just waiting for a day that might never come.

There was yelling, there was tears, and it all ended when Hinata left without even saying goodbye.

Tsukishima felt like he couldn’t breathe for a long time after that. He kept looking for a sign from Hinata, a sign that he wanted Tsukishima to contact him to make amends, but it never came.

So he never went after it. And the two didn’t speak for a long time. Tsukishima hated himself for the way he let things happen, and found himself wishing for some kind of time machine to take him back to when things weren’t ruined.

The feeling was mutual.

-

Everything had to come to an end, and that end was here. After everything that they’d gone through, all the troubles and fights and disagreements, the distance that had been between them for months and years at a time; their perceptions of and feelings towards one another had always seemed to sync up, even during their rough beginnings as freshman. They’d come through it all, and now here they were. In the same place at the same time.

Tsukishima looked at Hinata, the redhead dressed head to toe in black, reminding him of the first time he’d seen him dressed in the Karasuno official uniform. Except this time, the black went with a tailored suit, which he knew was more expensive than Hinata’s rent because he’d been told that several times over the course of the months leading up to today. There was a red rose stuck in his lapel on the left side of his chest, and he could tell by the way Hinata fiddled with it he was nervous. Tsukishima could always tell when Hinata was nervous. But there was a difference; Hinata could be nervous in a bad way, like before taking tests or going on an important interview where he would get physically sick and weak; and then there was nervous in a good way, like before a big game or meeting new friends, where Hinata would get the sweats, but the smile would never leave his expression.

And today Hinata was the good kind of nervous. The smile that adorned the smaller man never faltered, even while his body trembled and his feet danced in place. Tsukishima couldn’t help but smile as he watched the redhead fiddle with the rose, adjusting it once again, ending up with it in the exact same place it was in to begin with. Hinata was so nervous. But happy. So so happy.

And here they were, a long time awaiting this moment. Both Tsukishima and Hinata in a church. The day of a wedding.

And Tsukishima was happy, he was over the moon, seeing Hinata dressed up and fidgeting and happy. It was normal for them, for Hinata to always be on the move, and Tsukishima wouldn’t have him any other way.

The only twinge against his happiness was the guilt that sat in his stomach like a huge ball of lead. Guilt that stemmed from the jealousy, hatred, and regret that he had to live with on a day-to-day basis. The guilt that derived from the belief that he should be looking at Tsukishima with those large amber eyes, not Oikawa. He should be gripping Tsukishima’s hands in his own smaller ones, rubbing his knuckles with his thumb.

Because although Tsukishima was happy for Hinata, he couldn’t help but feel like Hinata should be marrying him instead.

That feeling was  not mutual. 


End file.
